Blessing Your Family, Personalities & Languages

Welcome to Day 26 of our Journey through “31 Days to Bless Your Family”!

Today’s theme is Personalities & Languages.

This isn’t whether you have a personality or what language/s you speak, but rather what unique personality styles and what different love languages exist in the individuals of your marriage and family.

Your spouse and your children are each uniquely created, with different wiring and gifts to be used toward their specific purpose. As you continue your journey to Bless Your Family it is important that their specific Personalities and Languages are understood, accepted, appreciated and “spoken”.

Without this layer of understanding we will all fall short in communicating love and blessing to those that matter most to us. We may experience unnecessary frustration or conflict in our relationships, and worse yet we might not ever get the message of our love and blessing across to our mate or children if we’re speaking a language they aren’t wired to receive.

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What Are These Personalities and Languages?

Generally speaking, there are four basic personality styles which were first written about thousands of years ago by the ancient Greeks. Wikipedia covers some of the varied styles and typing systems, and you may already be familiar with some of the more popular versions like DISC, MyersBriggs, and Enneagram. You may have become familiar with Strengths Finder and Colors in a workplace setting, or S.H.A.P.E. in a church or ministry related setting. I have included links below to some books on each of these, as well as links to free assessments.

My guess is that very few of you love these assessments and profiles like me, and most of you are in the “not so much” category like my wife. See? There’s already evidence of differences in our wiring!

The “5 Love Languages” is a book by Gary Chapman that has been widely known for his work helping us to better understand how our mate and our children are wired to communicate love through 5 Languages. This has helped so many people learn to communicate better with each other that there are now multiple versions, including an adaptation for the workplace.

The 5 Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”

In my opinion, that’s one of the best movie lines ever (spoken by Chris Tucker to Jackie Chan), and it’s a great picture of our differences in personalities and languages. You may be trying to Bless Your Family in your very best efforts and still wind up asking those same words to your spouse and children.

It took me three years to figure out how wrong I was at knowing my wife’s personality style, and I love studying this topic! I was amazed, and it made a huge difference for me to be able to relate to my wife the way she is actually wired instead of guessing and getting it wrong. It helps me to be more understanding and respecting of how she is uniquely wired and what is more important to her.

The stereotype is true for us that opposites attract when it comes to our personality styles, but no matter how different we are I believe it is our Love Languages (and Surrender to Oneness) that allows us to get along so well together. Our bottom two Love Languages are the same, and in the same order – so when we don’t communicate love in those bottom two languages, no one is getting their feelings hurt or their needs unmet. Our top three are the same, just in a different order of preference. Even though she still prefers to love me with her top languages, in her order of preference, I still receive most of what she is communicating in her love to me because for the most part those are my same preferred languages also. I can usually translate any difference, and no matter what, I am immensely Grateful for our Generous love and blessings we have for one another.

Another personal example is how I can better understanding my son’s personality and language preferences helps me to better respect and appreciate his unique differences. This isn’t always easy because we are wired differently and that has created some points of tension in the past. As a parent there are layers of blessing that go both ways as I intentionally make the effort to know and guide my son into his adulthood. I get to see the incredible young man that God is developing in my son, and I have the honor and privilege and responsibility to help guide him toward his unique purpose and areas of giftedness. With that perspective I then get to give him a richer Blessing over his lifetime, one that is tailored to who he is S.H.A.P.E.D. to be, one that honors him for who he truly is, and one I hope that speaks volumes to him in his own Love Language.

Begin Relating Better

How might understanding each of the personality styles of your mate and your children help you to better understand any differences? Any strengths or gifts? Resolve perceived conflicts? And maximize your blessing specific to their lives?

Were you able to guess at the preferred Love Languages for your spouse and children? How about your own? Have you been communicating your love and blessings in your language or theirs?

Would being intentional about learning the Personalities and Languages of your loved ones change how they experience your love and blessing? Would it be worth it if each of them actually received your unconditional love and acceptance, your blessing, in a way that was so unique to them that they profoundly knew how much they meant to you and how special they are?

I encourage you as you journey to Bless Your Family to dive into some of the resources below and become a student of your loved ones and get to know them better, love them better, and bless them more. Specific to your children you will be better able to guide and equip and encourage them toward their strengths and their purpose.

If you or a loved one are a person of faith then I also encourage you to find out more information about S.H.A.P.E. as a tool to help equip your mate and your children to live to their fullest purpose and who God has SHAPED them to be through their unique:

Spiritual Gift/s
Heart (areas of passion)
Abilities
Personality
Experiences

[shareable cite=”@Eric_D_Jackson”]Your spouse and your children are each uniquely created, with different wiring and gifts to be used toward their specific purpose. As you continue your journey to Bless Your Family it is important that their specific Personalities and Languages are understood, accepted, appreciated and ‘spoken’.[/shareable]

Today’s “Dares and Prayers” shared in the video, plus additional Resources:

Love Dare – “Responsible“
Love Dare For Parents – “trusts God“
Power of a Praying Husband, Pray for – “Her Home” /edj
Resolution – “to live with Integrity“
31 Days of Building Your Family Values, Bible App Devotions – “Compassionate“
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively
The Treasure Tree: Helping Kids Understand Their Personality
Showing Your True Colors – Your True Success
Discover Your Soul Potential – (the Enneagram)
S.H.A.P.E. – Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life
Strengths Finder 2.0

FREE Profile Assessment Links:

DISC+Values from TonyRobbins.com
DISC for Kids from Focus on the Family: Determining Your Child’s Personality Type
MyersBriggs/MBTI: 16PERSONALITIES.com
S.H.A.P.E. – Helping You Discover God’s Purpose In Your Life

Daily Resources and References

Please review the Welcome to 31 Days to Bless Your Family post if you missed it. There are some starting resources and recommendations there. Your best resource will be a local Bible teaching church to plug into with your family, and be surrounded by a thriving and supportive community.

Special Thanks to Kendrick Brothers Productions for their books The Love Dare, The Love Dare for Parents, and The Resolution for Men. You can check out their movies, books etc on their site. Their site recommends a local church finder at:

TrueLife.orgwhich also links to a prayer online, chat or text site – ChatAboutJesus.com

For prayer from KLOVE Radio staff:

Positive, Encouraging K-LOVE Radio – Submit a Prayer Request
“You can also call [the] prayer line at 800-525-5683”

If today’s topic resonated with you please leave a question, or share something positive that is working for you in the comment section below.

Here’s to your family’s “purpose-filled and on-target day”!

God Bless You and Yours!

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Bless Your Family, Day 26 – Personalities and Languages