Here I am on the day of my baby baptism with (L-R) my dad and mom, grandpa, and the priest.
You may have guessed my parents were Catholic at this time. In fact, I grew up going to Catholic Mass until I was in Junior High School. I remember my dad taking me to classes for my First Holy Communion and I was even an Altar Boy at the church he went to (my parents had divorced when I was two). I totally remembering the growing pains in my knees, and crying myself to sleep at night! I don’t know if it was just growing or all the additional kneeling in church. Hehe!
In the early stage of my faith I didn’t really know what all of this meant, but I do remember memorizing the service and the Our Father prayer. I remember as early as kindergarten pondering if God was real and I asked in a prayer to know Him if he was. It was this time that first grade rolled around and my mom had decided to move her and me across the country to New York where she had a new job and was pursuing a love to the man who became my stepdad. I had one more prayer at this time, “God, if you’re real, and if you are really our Heavenly Father, then I am really going to need you because I am going to miss my dad here when we leave.”
I wrote in the About page that each of us has a unique SHAPE, and I can insert here that most definitely the not-so-friendly-divorce of my parents and the distance from my dad influenced the Experience (E) portion of my SHAPE to influence my Heart (H) for wanting an “ideal” family of my own. Eventually, this helped to shape me to be passionate about Marriage and Family ministry.
Back in Junior High I had grown to believe that God was real and he was leading me in my faith journey. I was noticing some natural talents develop about this time but I also was aware of some not so pure motives to use my gifts for bad and not always for good. This pivotal point led me to pray this time, “God, if you’ll help me make better choices and do good I will serve you my whole life.” This prayer would be my last significant dedication until my early twenties.
I decided to leave the East Coast and live with my dad in High School to spend time with him before becoming an adult. He was also remarried and went to church with my stepmom at a Lutheran church, where I went through Confirmation, sang in the choir with my dad, enjoyed Youth Group, and volunteered as a teacher in the Children’s Ministry. I even gave the Senior High Sermon on Youth Day on January 29th, 1989. I don’t have the t-shirt but I do still have the program! Apparently I even played the trumpet that day also. These years drew me closer, even yearning for a relationship with who would eventually become my Lord. But I still didn’t know what that really meant for me.
The final leg of this journey that led me to God as my Lord was in college where I heard a message of what a saving knowledge of Jesus, His grace and forgiveness, really meant. That day was June 21, 1992, and brings tears to my eyes even as I write this. God still had a lot to do in me, and still does. It’s been 24 years and I am still learning what it means to be obedient in my faith and dedication to Him.
I’ve messed up a lot in my life along the way but that’s part of everyone’s journey no matter what their faith or beliefs. You could say I’ve been Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, and Non-Denominational Christian. Mostly I’ve been human, and I strive to be as authentic and transparent as possible. I love helping others and I believe all people deserve the freedom to find their own journey in respect and dignity with our encouragement and love. After all, that’s what my God allows everyone to do. May you find peace and joy in yours.
#Faith #Family #Freedom
