Welcome to Day 10 of our Journey through “31 Days to Bless Your Family”!

Today’s theme is Respect, following yesterday’s post on Tenderness. I am switching the order of “TAR” in my acronym here only to prioritize Respect before Admiration. For now, please allow me to say that Respect carries more weight than Admiration and is a perfect next topic after setting the sweet tone and environment of Tenderness as we continue our journey to Bless Your Family.

My first comments are regarding the general benefits of respect in a family, but we will briefly cover the specific benefits of Respect in the romantic and loving relationship with your spouse from the book, Love and Respect. The author makes several incredible claims of the transforming results in a marriage when combining

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Generally speaking as a parent, I am always intentional about finding opportunities to emphasize with my son that people are worthy or respect and dignity. A faith-based view would state that people bear the image of God and is enough to warrant special value on each person. “All [persons] are created equal” is an attempt to work that out in society. It is a higher value placed on our spouses and children that we will address today.

One of my intentions is to create and protect an environment of Respect, in and for what makes up our home together as a family. It is probably easy to imagine how respect in a marriage and family can raise the value of the relationships around you, it prepares the foundations for many or all of our other topics in this series, and it elevates the value of each blessing you intentionally give to your spouse and your children.

[shareable cite=”Wikipedia”]Respect is a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something that is considered important, or held in high esteem or regard; it conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities; and it is also the process of honoring someone by exhibiting care, concern, or consideration for their needs or feelings.[/shareable]

In this book, Dr. Eggerichs asks us to consider, “do you believe your mate is well-intentioned?”, and if so, then we should also consider allowing them the benefit of the doubt, or giving them a little grace when we respond to our mate. This is yesterday’s post, Tenderness, which allows us to not be so easily offended, to be more patient, and make room for Undying Love, and Respect with our mate.

Eggerichs states that of course both husband and wife need and deserve both Love and Respect, but that we are wired to receive, communicate and need each of these differently as men and women. In his extensive research and counseling he makes an incredible case for healing, transformation, and igniting the marriage relationship when we understand and prioritize what each partner needs from the other.

Part of what I hope to share with you is that with TAR – Tenderness, Admiration and Respect we create a sweetness in our marriage that has the potential to invite in the miraculous and give us the marriage of our dreams.

In Eggerichs’ work he articulates the opposing responses to this sweetness with descriptive words like contempt and disdain. It isn’t hard to imagine how annoyance, shortness, sharp or cold, bitter or insecure reactions can snuff out the Love and Respect from a marriage. He calls this the “crazy cycle” where we misunderstand our partner’s reactions instead of translating their feelings and needs properly.

One very helpful technique is to pause this cycle by lovingly speaking:

These simple responses to a possible reaction allows for tension to de-escalate, and for the person choosing to respond to allow for ownership of a wrong they may have said or done, and also ownership of how it made them feel. All of this is done without pointing the blame at the other partner. These responses allow for grace, the presumption that our partners are well-intentioned, and that the situation just needs a little more translation and understanding of our mate.

There are too many profound discoveries in the book, Love and Respect, for me to unpack here. This book is a game changer for marriages, and I highly recommend it to Bless Your Family.

Are there ways to elevate the value of your mate and your children that would communicate the love and blessing you desire for them to receive form you? In what ways can you show Love and Respect to your mate? Is it possible that this could be done unconditionally? How can “TAR” help you create an environment that elevates the value you place on your loved ones, and the value of the blessings they might receive from you?

Today’s “Dares and Prayers” shared in the video:

• Love Dare – “Unconditional“
• Love Dare For Parents – “not Rude“
• Power of a Praying Husband, Pray for – “Her Beauty“
• Resolution – “be a man to lead your family“
• 31 Days of Building Your Family Values, Bible App Devotions – “Patience“
• Love and Respect
• Courtship After Marriage

 

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Special Thanks to Kendrick Brothers Productions for their books The Love Dare, The Love Dare for Parents, and The Resolution for Men. You can check out their movies, books etc on their site. Their site recommends a local church finder at:

• TrueLife.orgwhich also links to a prayer online, chat or text site – ChatAboutJesus.com

For prayer from KLOVE Radio staff:

• Positive, Encouraging K-LOVE Radio – Submit a Prayer Request
• “You can also call [the] prayer line at 800-525-5683”

If today’s topic resonated with you please leave a question, or share something positive that is working for you in the comment section below.

Here’s to your family’s “purpose-filled and on-target day”!

God Bless You and Yours!