Blessing Your Family, Boundaries
Welcome to Day 18 of our Journey through “31 Days to Bless Your Family”!
Today’s theme is Boundaries
. This is a great topic in our sequence going from Generosity, Partner and Parent, Responsibility, Finances
, through Prayer, Boundaries, Margin
. There really may become logic to these 31 Days to Bless Your Family. Really, healthy boundaries are needed in every topic essential to Bless Your Family in a healthy way.
When you set out to Bless Your Family you will find that Boundaries are important because they exist to help protect things of value. Of course you value your marriage and family, far above valuing your home and your possessions. That’s why you’re here, intentionally seeking that which will help you make a greater difference to those that you value most.
Boundaries define property, control and responsibility. Usually a boundary line defines ownership, what’s mine and what’s yours, where my responsibility and control end and where someone else’s begins. If a fence is a good picture of a boundary line then envision a gate and a pathway to the door of your home that help keep out what you don’t want, and let in what you do want.
Many of you may already be familiar with the books and teachings from Drs. Cloud and Townsend. If you are not here’s a short video from Dr. Cloud giving a very brief description of Boundaries:
Boundaries Are Not One-Sided
Boundaries define where one person’s responsibility ends and another person’s begins. By definition then boundaries are not one-sided, like someone exists and no one else begins. This applies in both directions in any relationship.
This means that boundaries are not to be used against other people, either passively or aggressively. This means that in a healthy set of relationships a person cannot demand that their boundaries be respected and at the same time not take ownership and responsibility for themselves. Just like another person cannot force their boundaries and personal rules, ownership and control onto someone else.
Healthy Boundaries Allow Each Person to Thrive Together
Whether in your same household, or with your next door neighbor, or anyone else for that matter, Boundaries allow each person to relate and interact together in healthy ways. When we respect each other and allow, even encourage, every individual’s ownership for their own well-being then we can begin to thrive because we take ownership of our situations, feelings and outcomes. We can begin to truly Bless Our Families in a meaningful, authentic, and lasting way.
In the “Boundaries” books Cloud and Townsend write that ‘Truly responsible people take ownership for the following things:
Borrowing from the Navy SEALS, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, in their book “Extreme Ownership – How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
” describe how ownership
makes all the difference in any situation. On the battlefield it is the difference between life and death, and in the marketplace of business it makes the difference between a thriving organization and a failing one. This book was instrumental to me recently in remembering just how much I needed to take ownership or responsibility for everything about me and what I do and how I do it. Just like the list above from Boundaries
, and just like the post on Modeling Responsibility
. “It’s my fault.”
How might better Boundaries help you Bless Your Family? Are there Boundaries that need to become better within your household and immediate family members? How about externally with extended family, neighbors and other relationships or responsibilities?
As we prepare for tomorrow’s topic of Margin, how might setting better Boundaries in your marriage and family create an environment to begin experiencing more Margin?
Today’s “Dares and Prayers” shared in the video:
- Love Dare – “Understands“
- Love Dare For Parents – “Models“
- Power of a Praying Husband, Pray for – “Her Deliverance“
- Resolution – “to fight for Justice“
- 31 Days of Building Your Family Values, Bible App Devotions – “Honor“
- Boundaries With Kids
Daily Resources and References
Please review the Welcome to 31 Days to Bless Your Family
post if you missed it. There are some starting resources and recommendations there. Your best resource will be a local Bible teaching church to plug into with your family, and be surrounded by a thriving and supportive community.
Special Thanks to Kendrick Brothers Productions for their books The Love Dare, The Love Dare for Parents, and The Resolution for Men. You can check out their movies, books etc on their site. Their site recommends a local church finder at:
For prayer from KLOVE Radio staff:
If today’s topic resonated with you please leave a question, or share something positive that is working for you in the comment section below.
Here’s to your family’s “purpose-filled and on-target day”!
God Bless You and Yours!